Saturday, August 22, 2009

No egg at retrieval

Yep, it finally happened. It is one of several nightmare scenarios for poor responders, up there with no response and zero fertilization. Honestly, I feel kind of lucky in that I have managed to avoid this outcome for so long, given the number of single follicle retrievals I have had. But on Thursday that luck would come to an end.

The day started routinely. DP had arrived on time from the West Coast the night before. We went in to the clinic early in the morning, and I had my pre-retrieval scan. The follicle looked great, it was a nice size at 22mm. The labs from the day before looked great too... the hCG trigger was absorbed well as my beta was in the 400s. E2 was around 320, great for 1 mature follicle. So we were somewhat hopeful going in.

As I was waking up from the procedure one of the nurses told me what had happened. They couldn't get the egg, they had tried flushing the follicle many times but to no avail.

My previous RE had said that often this is a sign of an abnormal egg. If it doesn't come out of the follicle easily, it is almost like you don't want it. I've had these "empty" follicles before, but the other times there was more than one follicle at ER so we never came up empty handed.

It was the strangest thing being told the news while still groggy from the anesthesia. It didn't really register at the time, I think I felt some disappointed but didn't feel emotion at first. But as I woke up more it felt more and more real. By the time DP came in to help me get dressed, I was really feeling gutted and the tears started flowing. He already knew, because they never called him back for him to give his sample.

And to top it off, the anesthesia made me feel sick all day.

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