Friday, May 29, 2009

9dp3dt - still blank

Tested again this morning just to make sure, and still very much a BFN. Not even a hint of a ghost line or shadow. Always so very disappointing. Well, I have my travel plans in place for next cycle so at least it feels like I am moving forward.

Strange thing is, the symptoms are exactly the same as the times I was briefly pregnant. I still have the crampy, heaviness down low in the pelvic area, still have the sore breasts, although they are getting less sore by the day. Still with the pink spotting too, it must be an irritated cervix. Because of the weekend, the beta won't be until Monday.

DP was saying how he wished we knew what happened to the embie. His thoughts:

Did it fizzle out and stop growing?

Was it genetically abnormal?

Did it land in a bad spot?

Did it fall out? Ok, there is the analogy of embie in the uterus being like a grain of sand in a peanut butter sandwich, that the embie isn't going to "fall out". But embies can and do wander around in there, or else how would ectopics occur. If they can wander into the tubes, why couldn't they wander into the cervix?

Did the AH damage the embie? It is an invasive procedure on the embryo, and there is always the possibility of human error. The photos of the embie are always before they are hatched, so we never see them after the AH is done.

Did it even get into the uterus? Could it be stuck in the catheter? We know they check the catheter after the transfer, but how is that done? Do they flush it and look under the microscope at the flushed contents to make sure it isn't there? What if it is still stuck to the wall of the catheter? Now I have to admit, that one has never crossed my mind before.

Of course we will never know exactly what happened. Sometimes it works, alot of the time it doesn't, and we can't do much more after a transfer other than take it easy and hope for the best.


southerngirl said...

Hey SG..I was anon...picked southerngirl(sogirl) for now (the fibroid story person)
I read your latest and feel for you. I know that feeling all too well of feeling all the symptoms. I am soooo sick of that. The boobs, the nausea, strong smells, and cramps. I was getting that almost every time I cycled! You are the one who deserves something good more than anyone I know...I mean don't know! I truly hope like you that things will work out but, VERY soon.
It pains me to hear how hard you have been trying. I feel helpless that I cannot help you...or me, or anyone else ttc :(
I am glad to hear that your dp at least takes an you know many don't. Mine lives in denial most of the time poor thing...actually thinking we would have beaten the odds. I am older than you, and know that it is almost completely over for me :( I met someone from the past and heard even worse stories than ours. I wish something happy would happen to at least one of us! Thanks for listening. I like the over 40 board, but it does seem like most of those nice ladies have a child or two. I am happy for them, but I guess I am strange because it is hard for me to relate to them so far.
Take Care as I know you will, and I will check-in on you if you like

Anonymous said... sorry to hear about the stupid blank stick. I'm still holding out hope until the never know!!

xoxo, Tracy

JeanTX said...

Hi, SG. Oh, bummer. I was going to ask about you on the board. Dang it. I really thought it was going to work for you this cycle. This IF stuff is maddening, isn't it? At least you've got your plans and are moving forward. Sometimes that's the best thing to do.

I wonder what happens to those embies. I kind of figure if they aren't any good they'll just get reabsorbed or something. It really does make you wonder though, doesn't it.

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