Thursday, May 28, 2009


HPTs are still showing convincing BFNs. According the sticks, there isn't a molecule of hCG left in my body! I'm officially declaring this cycle over. Given that the First Response pee-sticks has a sensitivity of as low as 6.3mIU/mL, I just don't see how I can get to a decent, healthy, non-chemical beta level in less than 2 days, which is my usual beta day. I've had enough cycles where the sticks have looked like this at this stage to know the drill.

Can't say I am surprised. I would be even more surprised if this one had worked, as that would have made it two IVFs in a row (each with just a single embie) with implantation. Now those would have been crazy odds! Of course, it didn't stop me from hoping that somehow it would work, that my turn may come again.

But as nice as it may be to wait in hope, there is another practical aspect that I can no longer ignore, and that is to start getting my travel plans for the next cycle in order. I am seeing that my usual flight has just gone up $100 from yesterday, so I need to stop waiting around to see what happens and get some things booked.

One good thing about medicated cycles, is that it is very predictable when AF will come once the progesterone has been stopped, and that helps immensely in travel planning. There are still cysts and other unexpected things that could stop a cycle from proceeding, so I try and get refundable tickets. And these are more reasonably priced the earlier that you book.

Actually I haven't totally given up hope, I have just moved the focus of the hope on to the next cycle. I still seem to be making great looking embies, so hopefully one of those will eventually be a healthy one.

One of the biggest things I have learned along the way, and what has kept me going for so many cycles, is to not get too vested in any one cycle. Pinning ALL your hopes on any one particular cycle is very hard emotionally. I look at it as a process, which for me happens to involve many cycles to reach the goal. That is how I cope with the failures. Plus, seeing other success stories after long infertility journeys are always very inspiring.


Anonymous said...

Hey SG...followed you over here from the boards. I have been an avid supporter of you(have been on there for over a year/in my 40's/no kids), and hope it is not true what you are getting from those darn sticks! You deserve a good turn NOW. I was just wondering if you do not mind me asking. Do you have fibroids? If so how many and sizes? The reason I ask is I went through some of the ivf stuff as well and now I am told that it totally can interfere with implantation as well as cause m/c. Why THEY let me cycle is beyond my comprehension!!!!)Just wondering. You are a seasoned vet so, maybe it was silly for me even to ask. Nice job on the blog though, really.
Take care and I will have a name soon

SG said...

Hi anon, yes actually I do have a fibroid that has been checked out by several REs, and they have all said it is not in a place that can affect implantation, on the outside of the uterus I guess. Since my losses were chromosomal (actually missed m/c's where they had to do a d&c as they were stuck pretty good) so my uterine environment hasn't been a factor. But having said that, fibroids CAN be a problem for sure, but it does depend on where they are and how many you have.

Hope to see you on the boards... what are you waiting for? Just make up a name, give a brief intro with your story, and start posting! You'll be glad you did, I promise! Fibroids are a good topic, it has been a while since that has come up on the boards I think.
Thanks for the support,

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